Presence of Others

I got to be honest, I don't care for the new Presence textbook. How is it really that much different than the one we have? There are a couple of different essays and articles? The cover looks different? I like the idea that the book includes several essays from which to choose so that we can assign reading for our students to analyze. There really are a some good essays in there that illustrate how to write some of the papers we assign and provide good material for exercising critical thought. I'm sure there are many other textbooks out there that provide the same type of material. The section at the beginning that explains critical thinking is pretty decent, but I wouldn't say it is the best explanation I've ever read. I don't think the new version is more mind-blowing. It really isn't that much different, if at all different.

Here's the problem: It doesn't matter what textbook we throw at our students, they still hate to read. I mean they are strongly adverse to even reading a paragraph of information. We can assign readings all we want, but how many of them actually read the stuff unless we assign a quiz or a paper on the reading? Unless it's in digital format, they don't want to have anything to do with it. The problem is not the textbook, it's this image-based society that we've created. At least, that's my crazy way of thinking. Literacy is just not taken serious anymore.

Free Expression or Just Plain Juvenile.

I was lecturing in class today about the importance of speaking freely about the things that trouble you. The idea I was trying to get across was that we can't be afraid to censor ourselves if we are ever going to understand how we feel about a given topic or if we are ever going to uncover our own biases. The thing I tried to stress was that although we should not be afraid to converse about what could be seen as potentially volatile material, we should be mindful not to offend anyone. In other words, we should give everyone the same respect that we want accorded to ourselves. This suddenly reminded me of a conversation that I had with one of my students after the first day of class.

He approached me after class and expressed his excitement about his expectations for the semester. In short, he was happy that I was going to allow him to write about whatever was on his mind. I thanked him for his kind words and assured him that nobody should be help back from trying to uncover their own "Truth" through discourse; however, I reminded him about being respectful to other.

In fact, I used the words, "That's all fine as long as you don't say anything inflammatory that would offend someone else."

His response: "Well, I didn't come to college to learn to be politically correct."

Now, I was faced with a problem at this point. I could sit there and try to explain to him that being PC and adhering to the customs of common courtesy are not necessarily the same thing. I could already see that he was ready to argue with me until he was blue in the face. He obviously had those two concepts confused. I had to leave because the next class was already filtering into the room.

Instead, I settle with: "Well, just don't say anything disrespectful to anyone. Think before you speak. But it's OK to try to work with others to understand a situation better. Use common sense. There's a difference between freely expressing your ideas and being a jerk."

I'm hoping that he got the idea. He wasn't in class today. Also, he left class in a tiff last class period while I was trying to make sure everyone understood how to form a citation for a works cited. Class was running over a few minutes as I was rushing around checking everyone's citations. I heard him speak as jammed his backpack full of books and folders, "Fuck this. I ain't waiting. I got to go." He burst out of the classroom.

So, today, this is what I thought about as I stood on my soapbox. To tell you the truth, I was happy to see he wasn't there today. But this isn't over. Oh no. The battle has just begun.

What's the point anymore?

Does the title of this post sound familiar to any of you out there in digital land? I've been second guessing myself so much my entire life that I get sick of hearing the sound of my own voice in my head. Let's face it...every time you plan for things to go a certain way, they move in the opposite direction. Every precaution that you take into account for every possible reaction ends in a flaming wreck. You can never get it to happen the way you want.

I make sure I'm ready to field questions about what is critical thought and nobody says a damn word the entire class. I try the old "sit in silence and wait out a response" tactic and we sit in silence for what feels like hours. Nobody says a damn word.

I say to myself, "You must not let them defeat you. This is a war and you will not lose. Stay silent. Stay silent."

The minutes pile on top of each other and the feeling of awkwardness replaces the silence in the room like a gas leak turning an empty space into a bomb.

"This is what they want. They are counting on you to give in. Really, they had this planned before class. You were walking through the hallways and down the stairs while they were conspiring in the classroom to for this very moment of defiance....Talk, damn you. Talk!"

Someone shuffles their backpack in the corner of the room. The dude in the Cardinals hat from the front row slides back into his desk. You mirror his movement.

"Might as well get comfortable for this standoff," you rationalize.

Someone clears their throat. A cough. You scan the room trying to stare someone into feeling guilty enough to talk. Every set of eyes that you look into breaks away as if making eye contact would ensnare a response. Nobody is looking at you. Nobody.

"That's right! Tremble in fear you freshmen! Don't look me in the eye. Cowards!"

You begin to make a grocery list in your head. Your mind then wanders and you find yourself singing a song in your head: Johnny's in the basement mixing up the medicine. I'm in the basement thinkin' 'bout the government. You see a girl with red leather handbag sit up in her seat. She looks at you and seems to be unsure about something. Slowly, she begins to raise her hand and you think, "Thank God. It's about @#$% time! I thought we'd sit here without saying a word, my hair would turn gray and my skin would wrinkle."

Seriously, you really just envisioned yourself growing old in this room, never having said a single word. You point in her direction and say, "Yes, you have something to add."

"Yeah," she replies. "What was the question, again?"

@#$% it. Class dismissed.